Tuesday, March 9, 2010

lottery ticket salvation

This past weekend Melinda the dogs & I made a much over due trip to Ohio to see my folks. I feel bad for not visiting more often but with grand kids nearby it seems they are coming down south everytime I turn around.
Early Friday morning we loaded up the car and managed 5 stops before finally leaving town, (gas, groceries, 2 stops for breakfast & 1 for a book on CD). Once underway we managed to stay on the road until the first tank of gas ran out. I never thought I would be happy to see the needle reach "E" as I could no longer hold in all the coffee I drank. We pulled into some random gas station in West VA and I let the dogs out to do their business. As I walked the dogs around I was paying close attention to Moonshine's neck full of staples and not where I was walking. Little did I know that the area we chose to let the dogs use the bathroom was quite popular for others traveling with dogs. Unfortunately there was dog poo everywhere and somehow I managed not to see any of it. I loaded the dogs back up, jumped in the car and pulled up to the pumps. As I drove the 50 ft or so across the parking lot I noticed an usually awful smell. It wasn't until I got out of the car that I realized it was coming from the bottom of my shoe. It seems I must have stepped in a huge pile of dog poop. In all reality I'm used to this at home where I can wash it off easily with our garden hose but with no garden hoses available I was in quite a predicament.
I went on a search for some sort of outdoor water source to remedy the situation and found 2 faucets, the 1st one appeared to be frozen and the 2nd one had a broken handle. With no other options I went into the gas station bathroom and attempted to use the sink. I know this is gross and unsanitary but it was my only option. You see I was wearing trail running shoes with aggressive lugs on the sole with all kinds of trail grabbing crevices that are excellent for keeping you upright on the trail but also excellent for dog poop to get into creating quite a mess. Dragging my shoe through the grass only made things worse. I have realized that high pressure water is the only way to solve this problem.
Upon entering the bathroom I knew I was going to ruin the sink and I said a short prayer that I would not get caught cleaning dog poop off my shoe in a sink used my humans to clean their hands. I cranked up the water full blast and got nothing but a measly stream of water that almost made me cry. I tried my best to wash away the poop but wasn't having much luck. I looked around for some paper towels to aid in my efforts but this gas station had decided to be environmentally friendly and go with a hand dryer. I put my wet dog poop covered shoe back on a walked into the nearest stall to get some toilet paper. The toilet paper of course was the cheapest available and wasn't much help either. I repeated this process several times, wash in the sink, wipe with toilet paper. I realized after the first trip across the bathroom floor that I had left a trail of brown water on the floor. Not wanting to make an even bigger disaster than I had already created I resolved to hopping on one foot back and forth from the stall to the sink. I was getting no where with my process when the bathroom door opened and in walked an EMT. Luckily I was in the stall and not the sink but I had the door open so I was caught red handed with my dog poop shoe in one hand and a wad of brown toilet paper in the other. I just knew at any minute the guy was going to realize what I was doing and unleash a slew of obscenities in my direction. Nothing was said even as he washed his hands in the sink. I thought I was in the clear as he made his way to the door but turned to me at the last second and looked at the shoe in my hand. Hear it comes I thought. To my surprise he did not accuse me of destroying the bathroom but instead he started asking me about my shoes. Apparently he thought they were cool, never mentioning the mess I had created.
After a couple more hopping trips from the sink to the stall I spied my saviour out of the corner of my eye. I was having no luck getting the poo from out of all the tiny little crevices in the sole and I wasn't about to use my fingernail. Someone had left an unlucky scratch lottery ticket wedged in between the toilet paper dispenser and the wall. What was unlucky for one man turned out to be my jackpot. I was able to use the corners of the ticket to get all the tiny little crevices of my shoe clean. One more quick wash in the sink and I threw on my wet shoe and got out of there before anyone else decided to come into the hell on earth I had created in that bathroom. Normally I think lottery tickets are bad and I never buy them but now I have a different outlook on them. I will no longer accuse the state of convincing people to cough up their hard earned money on the ridiculous chance that one day they will become a millionaire.
When I finally got to the car Melinda said she was about to come in searching for me thinking I had been abducted by some burly trucker.
We did finally make it to Ohio and I did get to ride Ray's Indoor Mtn Bike Park which was awesome. I shot alot of footage with the Hero cam and Melinda snapped some photos but I'll save that for tomorrows post, sorry. There is still alot of editing I need to do before I post my video so stay tuned all week.

8 comments:

SCOOBY'S SNACKS said...

GROSS! watchout, karma is a bitch!

Riding with dogs said...

trust me I didn't want to do it but I had no other choice. I tried to clean up as much as possible

Anonymous said...

I wonder if that gas station owner reads your blog.

Riding with dogs said...

I'm sure of it!

Anonymous said...

So your that danged idiot that made a mess of my bathroom. You better just stay down there in that little hick of a state you live in and stay out of Ohio cause if I catch you back around these parts there is gonna be a EMT asking you questions and its not gonna be about your shoes. Got me com padre???

Dustin said...

HaHa. Speaking of Karma. I can always come back down and ride some invisible bike around the house again with some poo on my shoes.

Riding with dogs said...

I wasn't in an Ohio gas station fool. Next time read a bit closer.

Anonymous said...

Dont you tell me you darn farfanuggin.