Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Nature's little bastards

Yesterday Fat Tony and I headed over to Steeles Creek Park in Bristol for a little single track action. This was not just your normal everyday ride in the woods it was an interesting ride full of bad trail building, annoying insects and indecent exposure.
The ride actually started off on a good note for my bikes anyway. Both the Karate Monkey and the Mamasita got to go because Fat Tony's ride is in the shop. Although FT said he did not have a "niner epiphany" he did decide to come out of the dark ages and upgrade to hydro brakes.
We started out at Rooster Front Park with a chill in the air so I decided to leave my ugly headband/Syncros billboard in the truck. I later wished I had brought it along when I had to milk the pads in my helmet. As we climbed the mtn on the dam side we reeled in an older gentleman who we chatted with a bit at the top while we all caught our breath. He took off first down the other side while FT and I continued to talk. It turned out to be a good thing. As the older guy reached the bottom at a high rate of speed he almost ran over a trio of guys engaged in a rather indecent activity. All three took off running and were gone before we rode through. As we crossed the dock on the lake we caught back up to the older gentleman who proceeded to fill us in on all the details complete with hand gestures, which I could have done without. He pointed across the lake to the guys who were running with embarrassment.
As our luck would have it FT and I had to ride right past the guys who were trying to load up in their fancy Land Rover and get out of there without having to be seen. I hope next time they pick a different spot to do their thing and not right in the middle of the trail. I guess when Johnson City shut down the "Man Cave" at Wingdeer they decided Steeles Creek was a better place to have a party.
After all the excitement died down FT and I headed over to hit the other side of the park hopefully without anymore unexpected twists. We took our normal route with included a nasty rutted out steep climb that I had yet to conquer until yesterday. The Mamasita climbed like a billy goat on meth. (Meth is the new cocaine here in East Tenn.) We crossed the top, rode along the ridge and started descending down the other side when all of the sudden BAM! I got hit by a yellow jacket right on my bottom lip. OUCH! that hurt! I couldn't stop quick because we were flying downhill so while I was trying to slow down I tried to spit the little bastard out, I think he was going for my tongue. I'm actually kinda glad we were hauling a$$ or I might have gotten hit more than once. Fat Tony and the Karate Monkey made it through unscathed but they must have pissed off the nest with all the Kung Foo moves they were making on the trail. When we reached the bottom I asked Fat Tony if I resembled Mush Mouth, Fat Albert's friend. He said no but deep down inside I was kinda disappointed, I though it would make for a better story with a funny pic. I'm not going to say it was a bad ride it was a good one with a good story to tell for all six of my readers. I need stuff like this to boost my ratings because I lack the whitty commentary that some have who can make a trip to the grocery store entertaining.



Christopher said...

dont see that in the woods every day ... glad too.

Alan Sparks said...

I knew there was a reason I did not like that place

Darth Duncan said...

I think the other guy we couldn't find jumped into a two door Explorer with a roof rack on top.

Johnny T said...

crazy...too bad The Good name of Land Rover has now been marred by such an indecent association.

Johnny T said...

oh yeah this remonds of the time a local Doc was mt. biking Frog level and came across the rainbow coalition all prancing around naked in the woods gathering roots and berries trying to reject modern society

Riding with dogs said...

whoa! that's crazy

Riding with dogs said...

I think that Explorer had a Thule box too!

Christopher said...

Was the Explorer "Special" in any way?

Ever heard of I.C. King park in Knoxville?
Some locals call it the I.C. Queen for this very same reason.
B/f I knew this, I drove thru the parking area once and there were a bunch of old dudes sitting in their vehicles...I didnt stay.